with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Randomize
