I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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