Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
operation harelip BJ is a go
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Randomize
