im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
