NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
