What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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