i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
