Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Randomize
