I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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