Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
