i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
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