You work out of a Hotel?
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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