If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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