oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
