well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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