Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
