thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
