you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
