you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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