I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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