Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
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