i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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