Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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