Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
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