I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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