Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
