can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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