I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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