So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
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