even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
