I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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