i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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