butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
