no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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