what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Randomize
