if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
