whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
