Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
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