So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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