One girl and one boy is just not enough.
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
True college students do jello shots in the library
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