how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
