i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
