walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Randomize
