You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
