He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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