I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
