Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
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