I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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