I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
