you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
