so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
